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May. 19th, 2013


filkertom

Reminder: MANOS: THE HANDS OF FELT Kickstarter

Hilarious idea. They could use a little g... love.

Any others we should know about? Any of the main services -- IndieGoGo, GoFundMe, others I'm sure I've never heard of but are out there.

This entry was originally posted at http://filkertom.dreamwidth.org/1620747.html. You may comment there or here, although LJ tends to have a livelier conversation at this time.

jeliza

oh dear


This is how it looks outside; overcast, not a lot of glare, not really that bright.

I am exceedingly more comfortable with sunglasses on. As in maybe that's why I have been getting so many headaches uncomfortable.

The appointment with the cataract specialist is already set, so there really isn't anything to be done with this realization other than regret not going in six months earlier. It's just funny how something can creep up so stealthily while also having such an effect.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android. (which apparently ate the picture. No idea how to fix that at the moment.)


mama_hogswatch

Horace the Reluctant Sourdough Starter

Originally published at Noel Lynne Figart. Please leave any comments there.

Just like stranded colorwork and being able to do cables is the apex of knitting competence in my mind, being able to make a good, crusty loaf of sourdough bread with no added yeast (cheating!) is the apex of bread making for me.

I didn’t think sourdough really was all that difficult when I first heard of it. Laura Ingalls Wilder described it in On the Shores of Silver Lake as being simple enough.

“When you haven’t milk enough to have sour milk, however do you make such delicious biscuits, Laura?” she asked.

“Why, you just use sour dough,” Laura said.

Mrs. Boast had never made sour-dough biscuits! It was fun to show her. Laura measured out the cups of sour dough, put in the soda and salt and flour, and rolled out the biscuits on the board.

“But how do you make the sour dough?” Mrs. Boast asked.

“You start it,” said Ma, “by putting some flour and warm water in a jar and letting it stand till it sours.”

“Then when you use it, always leave a little,” said Laura. “And put in the scraps of biscuit dough, like this, and more warm water,” Laura put in the warm water, “and cover it,” she put the clean cloth and the plate on the jar, “and just set it in a warm place,” she set it in its place on the shelf by the stove. “And it’s always ready to use, whenever you want it.”

“I never tasted better biscuits,” said Mrs. Boast.

Now, this is accurate as far as it goes. You do combine flour and water somewhere warm and wait for it to start smelling sour. But the process is a bit more involved than that. She leaves out the feeding process. You see, to get a good sourdough really bubbling, you do need to feed it frequently as you’re moving along. Once it starts to bubble, you really should discard about a cup of the starter every day and then feed it with a fresh 1:1 flour and water mixture. It seems to work best for me at a cup each. You’ll know that it’s good and strong because it will start to grow and be a bit thick – like a really hearty pancake batter.

Now, throwing away all that flour offends me. If I had local friends who liked to bake a lot, I could give some of it away to let them get their own starter going.* However, I did something a little different.

At first, I thought that the starter was done after starting to bubble a few days and getting that sour, yeasty smell. I made a loaf of bread from it. But the dough hadn’t risen nearly enough even after 15 hours, and the resultant loaf was a bit too dense and chewy. Because I use a method where I bake it in a Dutch Oven inside my oven, I did get some steam proofing, but it wasn’t up to the standard I like for bread.

Not wanting to give up, I “cheated” and used the starter in making my bread, while adding a little yeast to the dough. Even though the starter wasn’t as strong as it could be, it still added some texture and character to the bread, and allowed me to feed the starter without having to discard a cup of the stuff every day. You have to discard some after you feed it to keep the growth balance right. Don’t just get bigger container. It weakens the strain.

Yesterday, Horace (yes, I named my starter) decided to start partying. He grew so much he bubbled up over the top and soaked into the cloth I had covering him.

So I decided to take a little risk and try making “real” sourdough break without any added baker’s yeast. I mixed up the dough late at night and when I came down the next morning, I saw that Horace had really been flexing his muscles. That’s a better rise than I usually get out of the dough I make this way with baker’s yeast.

Because I make a very slow-rise artisan type bread, it’s really ideal for sourdough. I poured this out on a floured surface, sprinkled it with some flour and set it up to rise for another couple of hours on my pastry board.

And Horace was still as active as ever. I got a nice second rise out of the dough.

 

As you can see, Horace really did his job on this loaf. That’s as fine a sourdough loaf as ever I did see. I just took this out of the oven and haven’t tasted it yet (other than breaking off a bit of crust), but this looks like the real thing. Well-risen, crusty and delicious.

I’ve included the recipes for the sourdough starter and the bread I make. They’re really pretty easy. Hope you enjoy.

 

 

 

 


Sourdough Starter

(Horace is pictured on the right. He was fed last night and transferred to a clean jar this morning.)

1c. warm water (Baby bath warm, not Japanese bath hot)

1c. unbleached flour. (I use King Arthur flour as my basic go-to flour and have for years. It’s cheaper than specialty flours and works great for bread. No, it’s not because I live near the local headquarters. I started using it years before I moved up here.)

(optional)1/8 tsp dry baker’s yeast

Combine the water and the flour in a glass or ceramic container that is at least four cups in volume. I use a quart Mason jar. Stir until smooth and let sit. You can, if you are impatient, put in a bit of baker’s yeast. If you’ve been doing a fair amount of bread baking in your kitchen, or it is in the fall, you really don’t need to bother. The wild yeast is enough.

Cover with a clean cloth and let sit. When you pass by or think about it, give the mixture a stir. When the mixture starts to bubble and get a kind of yeasty smell (this may take anywhere from 24-72 hours, depending on how warm your kitchen is and how much wild yeast you have) discard a cup of the mixture and add a cup of water and a cup of flour. If you can’t stand to throw the mixture away, you can use it in pancakes, waffles, muffins or even “normal” bread.

You’ll know your starter is a good and strong with a robust yeast colony when it grows 50-100% in size when you feed it. Then, it’s ready for baking bread.

I bake a loaf just about every day, so I do not bother to refrigerate my starter. When it gets too hot to use the oven, yes, Horace is going into the fridge to be fed once a week and revived in the fall for serious baking. If you bake less often, you can put this in the fridge, too. Just take it out to come to room temperature and feed it about 12 hours before you’re going to bake.

Artisan Sourdough Bread

3 c flour

1 ½ t salt

¼ t yeast (if you’re in the “cheating” phase. Don’t bother if you have a really strong starter)

1 ½ c. warm water

1c. sourdough starter

 

Mix in a bowl, cover with plastic wrap and let rise 12-16 hours. Turn out on generously floured board. Sprinkle top with flour, cover with plastic wrap and towel and let sit for two hours.

Put dutch oven in oven for ½ hour at 450. Gather up dough, add (carefully!) to dutch oven, cover and cook for ½ hour. Remove top, and cook for another 15 minutes.

Let rest. Enjoy!

______________________________

* And if you’re local and want some, gimme a mason jar and I’ll be delighted to give you a cup of starter.

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theferrett

Why It Might Take A Year Before I Have Sex With You, And That’s Okay

My poly bureaucracy creeps slow. Very slow. This is for my wife and girlfriend’s protection, because I am a dumbass.

See, I have a tendency of assuming that emotional intimacy == compatibility. Yes, it feels wonderfully cozy that we share all of these fears and concerns and relationship patterns, and finding your most sensitive feelings reflected in someone else is a beautiful thing.

The problem is that I’m fucking crazy. So finding someone I really resonate with immediately? It usually means they’re as bad as I am, and that we’re actually going to exacerbate each others’ issues.

I’ve been known to dive head-first into relationships without checking for compatibility first, just sort of assuming that because we have A Connection it’s going to work out. Then, after months of daily fights, me wringing my hands 24/7 about WHY WON’T SHE UNDERSTAND, and an eventual slow death by slices, I’ve learned that I need to spend more time getting to know people before I start getting committed…. if only so my wife isn’t obligated to play psychotherapist for me when things turn sideways.

So there’s a six-month cooldown time in place, where we can make out but not have Teh Sexx0r… and usually that cooldown time stretches to nine months, or even a year, as we just take it slow and not rush getting permissions.

The big question is, why don’t I find this limitation confining?

Part of it is, of course, is that I chose this lifestyle. This isn’t an externally-produced ruleset, created in a process tantamount to blackmail; it’s one I helped shape, because after a series of four disastrous relationships that imploded messily across my poly web, I took an honest look and said, “Okay, that’s a bad pattern, what’s a potential fix?”

But more importantly, sex is the least important bit for me.

Don’t get me wrong; anyone who’s ever made out with me will tell you that I’m passionate as hell. But sex is something that’s common; particularly in the kink communities, it’s not particularly difficult to get. If you’re open about your desires, reasonably personable, and are sapiosexual as I am, you’ll have a lot of options.

What I can’t get elsewhere is you.

Sure, maybe I’ll spend nine months hanging out with you on our once-a-month dates, getting to know each other… but that’s the best part. For me, “getting to know people” is an activity I find desirable in and of itself. Chatting, snuggling, dining out… that’s all stuff I like. And the level of flirtation/innuendo is a beautiful spice for that.

If and when we eventually hook up, that’s gonna be a wondrous new layer to what we share, and not the entirety of it. So I’m perfectly okay waiting for that to happen, since that is far from the whole reason I’m here.

I’m in no rush.

So yeah, it’s a long time. It’s not a process I’d recommend as standard for most poly groups. But that’s the glory of poly relationships: there’s no objective set of rules. What would be insanely restrictive for one set of people is actually a wise and stabilizing force in ours, just as what would be joyous freedom for some couples would actually cause harm if I tried it at this time in my life.

But does it matter if my rules would work for you? Lemme repeat: if it’s working for you and the people you’re dating, then it’s great.

This glacial proceeding helps me to choose better partners, and keeps my wife and girlfriend happier (even as neither of them are bound by this six-month rule), and hopefully the people I’m dating in this slow process are still happy to see me even if I’m not whipping out Little Elvis yet.

It’s an approach. Because there’s no the approach. And there never will be a the approach as long as humans are varied creatures with differing needs.

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/303286.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.
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filkertom

Reminder/Warning: More Bad Weather In the Lower Midwest Today

A reiteration: There are more nasty storms generating in Oklahoma and Kansas, feeding off the stuff that's been whomping on north-central Texas. (Did Dallas-Ft. Worth piss off Aang and Katara, or what?) As usual, the amazing weatherdude at dKos has the 411. Stay alert, stay safe.

This entry was originally posted at http://filkertom.dreamwidth.org/1620576.html. You may comment there or here, although LJ tends to have a livelier conversation at this time.

filkertom

DOCTOR WHO Spoiler Thread

Have at it. I'll catch up later today.

This entry was originally posted at http://filkertom.dreamwidth.org/1620228.html. You may comment there or here, although LJ tends to have a livelier conversation at this time.

May. 18th, 2013


tithonium

18 May 13

Poking around with an app for steamcon. Went shopping and got caught in 99-related traffic. Went to grocery store while hungry.
Tags:

porcinea

shoemaker's children...

I need to fix my iPhoto library(^Hies). But I don't want to!

Many WisCon fixes today, yay. Still procrastinating on store, boo. Reports filed, yay. Blew off Viking Day commitment to do get all the WisCon work done, boo.

Forethought in scheduling work absence allows for packing Monday *and* Tuesday, yay! Cookie baking? Maybe? Cosplay assemblage? Feminism in gaming linkage (today!)?

Orange/purple/(pink?) afghan almost finished! Whoa. Final rows and ruffled end could become tedious. Transferred work onto 4 separate Denise interchangeable cables (6 ends, 2 needles), where it transformed into a perfect square. Easier to knit -- turning the corners instead of rounding them. Tempted to start 2nd afghan immediately, using same row pattern but circular (spiral, evenly-spaced) increases. Teehee!

Spent the morning playing The Kore Gang: Outvasion from Inner Earth. Delightful! Wii!!!! Am up to Chapter 6? Joe's taxi.

theferrett

How To Handle The Despair That Comes With Writing

Eventually, if you’re trying to make it as a writer, you’re going to despair.  You can’t write well enough. This story will never sell.  If you do sell it, it’ll never be popular.

This terrible feeling like you’re just wasting your time and nobody cares happens, absurdly enough, to very popular writers.  It happens to nobodys.  It happens to writers, period.  If you’re putting words down and trying to get people to read them, there will be times you’ll want to take everything you wrote, set it on fire, and then fling yourself in to burn with it.

Here is what you do when those down days come: you write more.

Took a nasty rejection straight to the sternum?  Write more.

Had a confidence-shredding bad review?  Write more.

This grand story in your head is completely beyond your ability to commit it to the page?  Write more.

This terrible book you’re reading made millions, and your better work can’t find a home?  Write more.

Feel like you’re a fraud who’s somehow lucked out when better writers languish behind you?  Write more.

Your favorite author just told you he abhorred what you wrote? Write more.

The thing about writing is that so much of it comes down to tenacity.  The most popular writers in the world can all tell you about this fellow they knew when they were starting out, a colleague who could write stories that would charm the petals from a rose… and yet these natural geniuses didn’t stick with it.  They either let life swamp them, or couldn’t stand the rejections, or didn’t feel like it.  And these magnificently talented people never became Writers, because for whatever reason they never pushed through.

It’s not that they weren’t very good.  It’s just that they stopped knocking on doors.  While the writer you’ve heard of kept ringing doorbells until she got an answer.

So pushing through is what you need to do.  Write when you’re sad.  Write when you’re busy.  Write when you’re uninspired.  Write when you’re utterly consumed with the idea that you cannot do this.  Learn to take all of that despondence and to transform it into beauty, for writing in the throes of despair will do two things: when you are writing sad scenes, you will have so many more emotions to cram into it, and when you are writing happy scenes, you will be forced to emulate joy. One will make for better writing, the other will elevate your mood.

The truth is, though I’ve written in both despair and elation, I can’t really tell which mood I was in when I go back to revise.  You must learn to write without hope.  Keep creating through those dry spells, keep sending out stories during the rejections; decouple your personal contentment from your creative muse and make that bitch dance for you.  She’ll be clumsy at first, foolish… but with time, you can make her do the most elaborate pirouettes when you’re barely able to move off the couch.

In fiction, there’s often a plot sequence: Try/fail, try/fail, try/succeed.  In real life, there may be a hundred try/fails before you get to that succeed.  But you’ll never know unless you stay in that execution loop.

Write.

Write more.

And then write more still.

(Inspired by Catherine Schaff-Stump’s Writers and Despair.)

 

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/303034.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.

theferrett

Minor, Rampant Cruelty

Just discovered: I could pretty much ruin any woman’s day when she’s about to leave the house by asking, “Oh, you’re going out like that?” and then muttering that it’s fine, it’s fine.

I just said that to Erin hypothetically, and she knows I didn’t even mean it, and she’s still itching to change her clothes.

(Cue tides of women saying that they’re above that. You may thank me for making you feel superior.)

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/302666.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.

filkertom

2013 Hyperspace Hoopla

Yes, Star Wars fans, once again it's that most magical time of the year: Time for the Disney's Hollywood Studios Star Wars Weekend Hyperspace Hoopla!


firecat

somewhat weekly reading meme

What are you currently reading?
Lilith's Brood, Octavia Butler

Where Angels Fear to Tread by Thomas E. Sniegoski
I switched from audiobook to ebook for this series because I wasn't loving the writing style enough to want it read to me. I found the beginning annoying. But I've only read a few pages so far.

The Making of the Fittest: DNA and the Ultimate Forensic Record of Evolution by Sean B. Carroll (audiobook)

What did you recently finish reading?
Dangerous Mourning by Anne Perry, #2 in the Inspector William Monk series, set in the mid-19th century. Audiobook well narrated by Davina Porter, one of my favorite narrators. Although it's called the Monk series, this book's main protagonist is Hester Latterly—she does the primary footwork for solving the mystery. I really liked it for its attention to class and women's issues, and for character development. I also think Perry does a good job with dialogue.

Late Eclipses by Seanan McGuire, the fourth book in the October Daye series. Liked it a lot. McGuire does a great job of pacing and reveals and drawing out the story arc.

What do you think you’ll read next?
I'm going on a trip without much Internet access, so I downloaded several ebooks:

A Letter of Mary by Laurie R. King (#3 in the Mary Russell series)
Larger Than Death by Lynne Murray (#1 in the Josephine Fuller series)
Cranford by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell
The Vampire Files, Volume Two omnibus by P. N. Elrod (contains books 4–6 in the series: Art in the Blood, Fire in the Blood, and Blood on the Water)
Ventus by Karl Schroeder

This entry was originally posted at http://firecat.dreamwidth.org/810539.html, where there are comment count unavailable comments. I prefer that you comment on Dreamwidth, but it's also OK to comment here.

May. 17th, 2013


tithonium

17 May 13

Work. Mostly trying to debug a problem, which turned out to have gone away when I tested.

Went to Iron Man 3. It was fun.

My DiceRings showed up.
Tags:

hsifyppah

(no subject)

Safe and sound in Orlando! And adjusted to the time change, accidentally, by taking a redeye but not sleeping, staggering around Animal Kingdom for several hours (I rode a coaster! I saw giraffes! I had very many strawberry ice pops!) before the hotel room was ready, having an afternoon nap, and then getting lost I mean exploring trying to find dinner. We found dinner! Patty and I are EXTREMELY INTREPID. Seanan is here safe too and has not murdered a single person that we could tell. It is awfully warm! I don't have a sunburn yet somehow. There are little lizards eveywhere! Tomorrow morning early I am going back to Animal Kingdom to do the Wild Africa Trek, aka, the ogle Nile crocodile tour. Crococrococrocotour!

siderea

[in memoriam] merle_ has died

I just learned that merle_ died.

I only knew him through LJ and email. He followed me back to my journal from intj, IIRC; his first comment in my journal was in 2005. I've known him -- insofar as he let himself be known -- for almost eight years. In the last year, he revealed more of himself, and I knew the nature of his problem -- but not how close to the end he was. Maybe he didn't know; maybe he didn't let himself know.

I am stunned and I am heartbroken. I will miss him. I wish he'd gotten more of life than he did; I'm glad he got what he did.


tanuki_green

Attitude

Attitude




Crossposted from Tanuki Photography.
You can view the original post here.

solarbird

you need to read about chile 1971

If you’re into the whole old-school SF idea of planned/constructed societies and all that -and if you haven’t read much SF of the 30s though early 60s, you’ve missed out – you really need to read about Synco (a.k.a. Project Cybersyn) in Chile during the Allende administration, before the Pinochet coup d’etat. Because they tried it, for industrial production.

The Wikipedia article gives you an overview, but THIS WAS REAL, NOT A MOVIE SET:


The Opsroom or Operations Room: a physical location where [nationalised industry] information was to be received and stored and made available for speedy decision-making. It was designed in accordance with Gestalt principles, in order to give users a platform that would give them a chance to absorb information in a simple and comprehensive way.

They didn’t get finished before the coup d’etat – the screens were used, but they had to have slides prepared each day rather than getting the data straight from the computer. But they were using the data – successfully, in many cases. All the major production facilities were, in fact, connected, via a massive network of telex machines, and data was flowing to the central computer, which was modelling and predicting based on daily data, and heuristic decisions were being made and acted upon and everything.

The goal was to have it all be realtime, as their computer capabilities ramped up. Keep in mind: this was in an era when moving this kind of data around and collating it within a single company in most countries could take took weeks, and decision-making could take even longer. They were doing it daily, with an eye towards continuously.

The difference between this and the Soviet and Chinese experiments is that it was intentionally decentralised. They were specifically avoiding those systems and trying to come up with something both socialist and rationalist and distributed – some of the factories had started setting up their own mini-facilities like this central one.

I’m fascinated by what they might’ve come up with, without Pinochet and his military dictatorship. They had the entire system destroyed – Pinochet was about authoritarianism, and had no time for this distributed-authority bullshit.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

Echoed via dw:ソ-ラ-バ-ド-のおん. comment count unavailable comments at Dreamwidth.


annathepiper

Advice on self-publishing, part 2: Beta reading and editing

Apologies for being a bit late in getting this posted, folks–I’ve been fighting a head cold this week, so I’m not entirely up to speed. Nevertheless, here you go, part 2 of my thoughts on self-publishing. Hope y’all find this helpful! This post focuses in particular on beta reading and editing, things that, in my opinion, are things that need to happen to your book once you’re done with it.

Now, beta reading is not the same thing as editing, so I’m going to talk about each in turn.

Read the rest of this entry »

Mirrored from angelahighland.com.


theferrett

Star Trek Into Darkness: The Review

I was very leery of the second Star Trek movie, simply because I felt the first one had violated the Prime Directive of Star Trek: Kirk was dumb.

Which is not to say that Kirk was a sack of suet in the JJ Abrams-inspired reboot, but the fact is that the entire last act of the film involved Kirk lucking out through most of it.  And while everyone has their own take on what Star Trek is or is not, to me a large part of Star Trek is that you don't ever bet against Kirk.  He's not educated (even if times he aspires to be), but his low cunning has literally placed him up against gods on multiple occasions... and he triumphed.  So to have the new Kirk hand most of the plotting duties over to Spock was a bit disappointing... and I was afraid that it would only get worse in the sequel.

It didn't, I'm glad to say.

The main theme of this Star Trek movie is unpredictability.  In most Star Trek movies - hell, most movies - the captain has a job to do, and the course of action is pretty clear.  But in this one, you're walking with Kirk as his crew and commanders disagree with each other, and most of them seem to have pretty good points.  As the Captain, it's his job to make the calls... but it's pretty hard to second-guess Kirk's actions when you're not sure what the right call is.

And Kirk is still green; talented, but green.  (Okay, this is Star Trek, so I must clarify: not literally green.)  He makes mistakes, and then - to his credit - backtracks.  This is a Kirk who is still very much learning what it means to be a Kirk, and to see a man flip-flopping as new data comes into play warms my Democratic little heart.

But still: uncertainty.  There's a lot of sections that leave you feeling off-kilter, as in, "Are they really going to do this?" and that only gets worse if you know the old canon.

And now, I must venture not Into Darkness, but into spoilers - for like Iron Man 3, the less you know about the film the more you'll appreciate it.

Can you believe that Scotty was a Cylon? Who saw that coming?!?!?Collapse )

In the end, this Star Trek is... not that Star Trekky.  The old Star Trek wrestled mightily with matters of theme and morality: the reason Star Trek II was so popular was because it asked, "What happens when you can't win the Kobayashi Maru?  What happens when you're old?"  This new Star Trek asks, "What happens when a violent terrorist - oh, wait, PLOT TWIST!  Oh, look at that!  Boom!  Cool!  And... hey, duty, isn't it great?"  It just moves too fast to really actually ask or answer any questions.  It is, like The Avengers, utilizing clever one-liners in lieu of actual characterization, which is witty and fun and does not lend itself to anything more than cartoon characters.

Which isn't a big ding.  I mean, it's a big-ass summer movie.  But the Star Trek concept has been watered down to fit in our popcorn, and it's satisfying enough.  This may actually be a better thing on the whole, as the failure mode of Star Trek is BLAH BLAH MORALITY, and when Star Trek fails it becomes sludgy and preachy.  This new Star Trek may fail at some point, at which point it'll basically degrade to Transformers... which, from a Hollywood perspective, is actually preferable.

(Fun Fact: Damon Lindehoff actually wanted to call it Star Trek: Transformers 4, which as he noted "Was technically available."  He was joking, but I think there's more than a little acknowledgement that this new Star Trek is intended to be a blockbuster first, Star Trek second.)

I'm not saying that Into Darkness is bad.  It's a notch below Iron Man 3, which I loved.  It's a fun movie, and I'd encourage you to go see it.  If you're a Star Trek fan, well, it's Star Trek Lite, and that's still a big hoopla, and they even throw in old references to make it work.

In short: it works. You'll probably be happy if you go see it.  Benedict Cumberbatch is very Benedict Cumberbatchy, and Chris Pine does an excellent job channeling Kirk.  And there's no need to stay through the credits, as there is no Shwarma.

This is all you need to know.  Now go buy your tickets.


shadesong

HEY GUYS HI

So where I'm at:

As I mentioned in brief, the tickly throat Judah and I had on Saturday turned into... nothing for him. For me? Being massively congested and kitten-weak through Wednesday. Yesterday I was just mostly weak, not totally immobile, and I've entered the terrifying-cough phase, which means that I am almost out of this, if I can keep it from turning into bronchitis. Y'all should buy stock in Mucinex and Symbicort.

Then in the middle of that, Monday night, I had a hideous, possibly life-changing nastiness visited upon me. Big boom. Lots of shrapnel. So I've spent this week trying to process and trying to help others process. The problem being that I can't do both at the same time, and... hell, I'd tell you what happened if I felt like it was a good idea, but things are settling and we're waiting on information. Let's just say that me helping others here is sorta injurious to me helping myself, but I have to do it anyway, and I have to fix everything on a damn deadline, because I am going away for a week on Monday.

This was supposed to be my rest week! Last week I had almost all of the deadline stuff - bringing my glasses in, getting Elayna's prom dress tailored, etc. This week was supposed to be the smaller stuff and a lot of rest. Instead it's been constant emotional awfulness while sick.

Here. My schedule. Let me show you it.

5/21-5/22: Chicago, pre-Wiscon
5/23-5/27: WISCON Y'ALL for which I have to prepare a bunch of stuff like right now argh
5/28: I fly home.
5/29: BARCC Gala steering committee meeting, probably last-minute prom stuff
5/30: Awards Night at Elayna's school, when we find out if she got scholarships from local organizations. *crosses fingers*
5/31: Elayna's prom! An afternoon flurry of hair, makeup, corsage.
6/1: Cambridge Riverfest and a friend's party
6/2: nothing YET and skip ahead to
6/5-6/10: My parents, birthmother, aunt, uncle, sister, and brother-in-law all in town for Elayna's June 7th graduation!

So basically I can't breathe 'til after that. Let alone write. It's been a while since I've had time to write and any emotional energy to spare. I'm exactly as happy about that as you think I am. Oh, and somewhere in there, I'll hopefully find out why I'm still in constant physical pain.

Today I'll pick up my glasses and hope they're right this time. Tomorrow we'll visit a florist and see if we can commission a damn corsage already.

Hi.

Yeah, if you see me at Wiscon? Tea or booze and hugs.

It is not all bad! The undercurrent through the past few months, the reason I've been able to keep it all together... I have a Person who's been holding the other end of my rope. Bastian to my Atreyu; he was there in the swamp, etc. And yes, I have been vague, and yes, I will still be vague - because that, too, it not completely resolved. There are additional dimensions to it that'll be clear really soon, and then I'll feel like I can tell you everything. I've been keeping from discussing because things are not quite complete, and I'd rather present all the OMGFEELS at once! But I did need to say that things are not all bad.

At least the chaos of the past few months has kept me from bursting into tears over Elayna's imminent graduation and departure quite as often as I otherwise might have.

So that is where I am.

Friday Memeage
Wearing: Right now, tank top and Superman underpants.
Reading: Perfumes: The Guide by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez, which is both informative and HILARIOUSLY BITCHY.
Writing: Heh. Well, I wrote an outline for a poem that I missed the deadline on because people exploded my life this week.
Knitting: Same; have not touched the needles all week due to constant work on awfulness.
Planning: After breakfast, I'll go pick up my glasses. I have museum passes for the Gardner reserved, and Judah suggested that he go with me (which is frankly the only way I can go - if I get a ride - because my lungs are fragile right now), but I don't know if that still holds, given that his schedule changes every five minutes. (He basically has three jobs now.)
Saturday, I'd like to go to Trivia in the Park.
Sunday, I'd like to go to Strip Hop Hooray, but people in my life seem curiously disinterested in hip-hop burlesque.

You?

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FayeAtComputer

February 2013

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